MIDWEST REGION ROUND TWO
Louisville Cardinals vs. Ohio State Buckeyes: The cardinal is a seed eater and the buckeye is a hairless poison nut. Cardinals are smart enough to avoid eating poisonous nuts and certainly are smart enough to beat them in a bar fight. Winner: Cardinals
Utah Utes vs. Wake Forest Demon Deacons: In the first round I picked the Utes over a wildcat and the Demon Deacons over some Vikings. What happens when they face each other? Well, I have to side with Satan on this one because he buys all my Metallica albums for me. Winner: Demon Deacons
West Virginia Mountaineers vs. Kansas Jayhawks: As discussed before a Jayhawk isn’t a real bird and Mountaineers are hearty folk, especially when it comes to drinking and fighting. I’m pretty sure that being able to drink and fight is a prerequisite for even being able to live on a mountain. The Jayhawks fought against a big slow bison in the first round but now get a mascot who not only knows how to drink and fight, but loves to drink and fight. Winner: Mountaineers
Boston College Eagles verses Michigan State Spartans: Did you see the movie 300? You just don’t tangle with Spartans. Their pectoral muscles alone can handle some drunken eagle. Winner: Spartans
WEST REGION ROUND TWO
Connecticut Huskies vs. Texas A&M Aggies: So now we’ve got the agricultural school attendee vs. a big dog that likes to pull sleds. Who is more dangerous with a belly full of tequila and a broken beer bottle in their hand? I have to go sled dog on this one. Winner: Huskies
Purdue Boilermakers vs. Washington Huskies: If I go sled dog again, that means in the next round you’ll have a sled dog verses a sled dog and the universe comes to an end. That’s like matter verses antimatter. You just don’t mix the two together unless you’re looking to stir s**t up. I’ll take the drink again. Winner: Boilermakers
Marquette Golden Eagles vs. Missouri Tigers: I am about done with eagles and tigers at this point. I mean, I can sort of understand a repeat here and there with an eagle or a bear mascot, but come on people. Did they really only think to look at tigers, bears, bulldogs and eagles? I mean, jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, there are two schools in this thing with an Aggie as their mascot! The last time I checked there are still plenty of nouns still out there. Geeesh! Winner: Tigers
Maryland Terrapins vs. Memphis Tigers: Where a terrapin was pretty effective against a bear in the first round, there are just too many damn tigers in this bar. Winner: Tigers
Jack DeVoss
ScoreOnAir.com - http://www.scoreonair.com
Ohio Center for Broadcasting
http://www.beonair.com
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
That Time Of Year
So the NCAA Tournament is going to be down to four teams on Monday. THE FINAL FOUR. Our panels predictions are Uconn, UNC, Louisville and Pittsburgh. Will they be Right? Tune in on Monday at 5 p.m. and listen to them tear apart there own brackets!
Also, its about that time of year to start switching over and talking about baseball! As the basketball season ends, baseball will become more prominent on the show, and baseball talk starts next week! Don't miss a thing as we preview the start of the season, on your #1 source for Basketball, and now, Baseball!
Your New Executive Producer,
Todd Merrill
Also, its about that time of year to start switching over and talking about baseball! As the basketball season ends, baseball will become more prominent on the show, and baseball talk starts next week! Don't miss a thing as we preview the start of the season, on your #1 source for Basketball, and now, Baseball!
Your New Executive Producer,
Todd Merrill
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
NCAA Bracket Blog Part TWO
EAST REGION ROUND ONE
Pittsburgh Panthers vs. East Tennessee State Buccaneers: This one was tough to pick. Buccaneers not only know how to fight, but they know how to drink pretty well too. Panthers can fight, but in the animal kingdom they’re lightweights when it comes to booze. In the end, I would have to think that the Buccaneer would be too pissed drunk to fight well and the Panther, although also pissed drunk, would still take it. Winner: Panthers.
Oklahoma State Cowboys vs. Tennessee Volunteers: Well, cowboys can be a rough and tumble bunch, and like buccaneers, most of them get worse with their aim when they drink. Volunteers, (besides being an underrated Tom Hanks movie), are mostly know for being the first person in line to do something. Is that an advantage? Well yes because here, they’re first in line to whoop up on some cowboys. Winner: Volunteers.
Florida State Seminoles vs. Wisconsin Badgers: On one hand the Seminoles are a proud Native American tribe that President Andrew Jackson really hated, while on the other there are eight different types of badger and all of them smell bad. My research sadly did not find out how Andrew Jackson felt about badgers, but it’s safe to assume he hated them too. What does this have to do with the two of them having it out in a bar fight? Absolutely nothing. Winner: Seminoles
Xavier Musketeers vs. Portland State Vikings: The poor Vikings. You’d think that they’d fare better in my little bar fight experiment, but I’ve got to pick against them again. A Viking is ferocious and knows how to drink, but Xavier’s mascot is D'Artagnan from the Three Musketeers, and that is a damn good candy bar. Giving a Musketeer a broken beer bottle is just like handing him the rapier he’s used to using anyway. Besides, what goes great with beer and a bar fight - that’s right, chocolate and whipped nougat. Winner: Musketeers
VCU Rams vs. UCLA Bruins: Here’s a bar fight between a bear and a ram from schools who like to go by their initials and looking at the actual fight, I have to go Bruins. The Ram can’t hold the one weapon I gave it because all it has are hooves, plus its one offensive move is to rush headfirst, bonk into something and then do it again. The Bear simply need to step aside and watch the poor thing crash into the wall. Winner: Bruins
American University Eagles vs. Villanova Wildcats: The only reason why I even know there is an American University was because my cousin got his undergrad degree from there before getting his law degree from Duke. While this means both of his alma mater’s are in the tournament, only one of them will be advancing past round one. And while patriotic, unless they’re golden, Eagles just don’t win bar fights. Winner: Wildcats
Texas Longhorns vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers: So here’s another golden mascot, but unlike the soaring majestic eagle, this one is a friggin’ gopher. Come on, a gopher in a bar fight against a big burly bull with long horns – from Texas! No contest. Winner: Longhorns
Duke Blue Devils vs. Binghamton Bearcats: What exactly is a bearcat? Is it half bear, half cat? Because if that were the case, that would awesome. No, bearcat is another name for a binturong, which sounds like something out of Lord of The Rings. Binturong’s live in Asian rainforests and from all the research I did, pass out after one sip of beer. Blue Devils are Satan’s minions who have spent too much time in the cold. They also drink and fight like sons of bitches. Winner: Blue Devils
SOUTH REGION ROUND ONE
North Carolina Tar Heels vs. Radford Highlanders: This one was another tough one. I mean, everyone knows that Highlanders live forever. On the other side are the Tar Heels. Tar Heel is a nickname that North Carolinians got during the Civil War because their soldiers stuck to their ranks like they had tar on their heels. So, you’ve got a guy who doesn’t leave because he’s stuck verses an immortal waiting around for the time of the gathering. Highlanders do have one weakness however, and that’s cutting off their heads. A guy who can’t leave because he’s stuck will have plenty of time to use his broken beer bottle to do just that. Winner: Tar Heels
LSU Fighting Tigers vs. Butler Bulldogs: How many stupid tigers are in this tournament anyway - Clemson, Missouri, Memphis and now, LSU. In this case however, LSU also puts the word “fighting” in their name, which stands to reason would help someone out a lot when in a fight. Also, if the bulldog mascot didn’t win against a husky, what makes you think it’s got a chance against a Fighting Tiger? Winner: Tigers
Western Kentucky Hilltoppers vs. Illinois Fighting Illini: What’s on top of a hill? Well, if you’re Western Kentucky apparently it’s this big red thing that looks like Grimace and Elmo’s bastard love child. That is not a hill I want to be on top of anytime ever. Meanwhile, the Fighting Illini were named after Native Americans, but reversed that in the 1990’s and now claim to be named for Illinois natives who fought in World War I. WWI? Really? Whatever. I’ll take a WWI vet over a sunburned Grimace in a bar fight. Winner: Fighting WWI Guys
Gonzaga Bulldogs vs. Akron Zips: College teams need to pick some more diverse mascots. That’s three for the bulldog camp and I already picked against them twice. It’s easy to actually pick for the bulldog this time around though because in this bar fight they’re going against a Zip, which isn’t anything other than onomatopoeia. Actually it’s short for Zippers, which help keep your pants closed. And while convenient in everyday society, it does dick for you in a bar fight. Winner: Gonzaga
Temple Owls vs. Arizona State Sun Devils: What good are owls anyway? Before JK Rowling made them postal carriers, all they ever did was eat your Tootsie Pop and spew out false knowledge while wearing a mortarboard - designed only to make them appear smart. It was all a ruse! A ruse to get my Tootsie Pops! Bastards! Winner: Sun Devils
Syracuse Orange vs. Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks: So here you have a school with a lumberjack mascot named after a guy who was never a lumberjack and a school that decided to simply take a color as a mascot. What good is a color in a bar fight? You’d think that a lumberjack would be pretty decent in a fight, especially one in a bar. But, you’re forgetting that nothing rhymes with orange. Checkmate! Winner: Orange
Clemson Tigers vs. Michigan Wolverines: I‘m from Columbus, Ohio. Winner: Tigers
Oklahoma Sooners vs. Morgan State Bears: We all know what a bear is because like Tigers and Bulldogs and Devils, universities seem to be only able to name themselves after four or five of the same things. A Sooner on the other hand is the nickname of a person who participated in the land rush of 1889 when all the land that used belong to the Native Americans was given away – for free! That’s cold blooded and you do not want to mess with a person like that in a bar fight - even if you are a bear. Winner: Sooners
Jack DeVoss
ScoreOnAir.com
Ohio Center for Broadcasting - Columbus
Pittsburgh Panthers vs. East Tennessee State Buccaneers: This one was tough to pick. Buccaneers not only know how to fight, but they know how to drink pretty well too. Panthers can fight, but in the animal kingdom they’re lightweights when it comes to booze. In the end, I would have to think that the Buccaneer would be too pissed drunk to fight well and the Panther, although also pissed drunk, would still take it. Winner: Panthers.
Oklahoma State Cowboys vs. Tennessee Volunteers: Well, cowboys can be a rough and tumble bunch, and like buccaneers, most of them get worse with their aim when they drink. Volunteers, (besides being an underrated Tom Hanks movie), are mostly know for being the first person in line to do something. Is that an advantage? Well yes because here, they’re first in line to whoop up on some cowboys. Winner: Volunteers.
Florida State Seminoles vs. Wisconsin Badgers: On one hand the Seminoles are a proud Native American tribe that President Andrew Jackson really hated, while on the other there are eight different types of badger and all of them smell bad. My research sadly did not find out how Andrew Jackson felt about badgers, but it’s safe to assume he hated them too. What does this have to do with the two of them having it out in a bar fight? Absolutely nothing. Winner: Seminoles
Xavier Musketeers vs. Portland State Vikings: The poor Vikings. You’d think that they’d fare better in my little bar fight experiment, but I’ve got to pick against them again. A Viking is ferocious and knows how to drink, but Xavier’s mascot is D'Artagnan from the Three Musketeers, and that is a damn good candy bar. Giving a Musketeer a broken beer bottle is just like handing him the rapier he’s used to using anyway. Besides, what goes great with beer and a bar fight - that’s right, chocolate and whipped nougat. Winner: Musketeers
VCU Rams vs. UCLA Bruins: Here’s a bar fight between a bear and a ram from schools who like to go by their initials and looking at the actual fight, I have to go Bruins. The Ram can’t hold the one weapon I gave it because all it has are hooves, plus its one offensive move is to rush headfirst, bonk into something and then do it again. The Bear simply need to step aside and watch the poor thing crash into the wall. Winner: Bruins
American University Eagles vs. Villanova Wildcats: The only reason why I even know there is an American University was because my cousin got his undergrad degree from there before getting his law degree from Duke. While this means both of his alma mater’s are in the tournament, only one of them will be advancing past round one. And while patriotic, unless they’re golden, Eagles just don’t win bar fights. Winner: Wildcats
Texas Longhorns vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers: So here’s another golden mascot, but unlike the soaring majestic eagle, this one is a friggin’ gopher. Come on, a gopher in a bar fight against a big burly bull with long horns – from Texas! No contest. Winner: Longhorns
Duke Blue Devils vs. Binghamton Bearcats: What exactly is a bearcat? Is it half bear, half cat? Because if that were the case, that would awesome. No, bearcat is another name for a binturong, which sounds like something out of Lord of The Rings. Binturong’s live in Asian rainforests and from all the research I did, pass out after one sip of beer. Blue Devils are Satan’s minions who have spent too much time in the cold. They also drink and fight like sons of bitches. Winner: Blue Devils
SOUTH REGION ROUND ONE
North Carolina Tar Heels vs. Radford Highlanders: This one was another tough one. I mean, everyone knows that Highlanders live forever. On the other side are the Tar Heels. Tar Heel is a nickname that North Carolinians got during the Civil War because their soldiers stuck to their ranks like they had tar on their heels. So, you’ve got a guy who doesn’t leave because he’s stuck verses an immortal waiting around for the time of the gathering. Highlanders do have one weakness however, and that’s cutting off their heads. A guy who can’t leave because he’s stuck will have plenty of time to use his broken beer bottle to do just that. Winner: Tar Heels
LSU Fighting Tigers vs. Butler Bulldogs: How many stupid tigers are in this tournament anyway - Clemson, Missouri, Memphis and now, LSU. In this case however, LSU also puts the word “fighting” in their name, which stands to reason would help someone out a lot when in a fight. Also, if the bulldog mascot didn’t win against a husky, what makes you think it’s got a chance against a Fighting Tiger? Winner: Tigers
Western Kentucky Hilltoppers vs. Illinois Fighting Illini: What’s on top of a hill? Well, if you’re Western Kentucky apparently it’s this big red thing that looks like Grimace and Elmo’s bastard love child. That is not a hill I want to be on top of anytime ever. Meanwhile, the Fighting Illini were named after Native Americans, but reversed that in the 1990’s and now claim to be named for Illinois natives who fought in World War I. WWI? Really? Whatever. I’ll take a WWI vet over a sunburned Grimace in a bar fight. Winner: Fighting WWI Guys
Gonzaga Bulldogs vs. Akron Zips: College teams need to pick some more diverse mascots. That’s three for the bulldog camp and I already picked against them twice. It’s easy to actually pick for the bulldog this time around though because in this bar fight they’re going against a Zip, which isn’t anything other than onomatopoeia. Actually it’s short for Zippers, which help keep your pants closed. And while convenient in everyday society, it does dick for you in a bar fight. Winner: Gonzaga
Temple Owls vs. Arizona State Sun Devils: What good are owls anyway? Before JK Rowling made them postal carriers, all they ever did was eat your Tootsie Pop and spew out false knowledge while wearing a mortarboard - designed only to make them appear smart. It was all a ruse! A ruse to get my Tootsie Pops! Bastards! Winner: Sun Devils
Syracuse Orange vs. Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks: So here you have a school with a lumberjack mascot named after a guy who was never a lumberjack and a school that decided to simply take a color as a mascot. What good is a color in a bar fight? You’d think that a lumberjack would be pretty decent in a fight, especially one in a bar. But, you’re forgetting that nothing rhymes with orange. Checkmate! Winner: Orange
Clemson Tigers vs. Michigan Wolverines: I‘m from Columbus, Ohio. Winner: Tigers
Oklahoma Sooners vs. Morgan State Bears: We all know what a bear is because like Tigers and Bulldogs and Devils, universities seem to be only able to name themselves after four or five of the same things. A Sooner on the other hand is the nickname of a person who participated in the land rush of 1889 when all the land that used belong to the Native Americans was given away – for free! That’s cold blooded and you do not want to mess with a person like that in a bar fight - even if you are a bear. Winner: Sooners
Jack DeVoss
ScoreOnAir.com
Ohio Center for Broadcasting - Columbus
NCAA Bracket Blog Part ONE
I am once again using my tried and true method of selecting my NCAA tournament brackets. I look at each team's mascot side by side, put a broken beer bottle in their hand/limb/appendage and then pick whichever I think would win in bar fight. As the games are about to begin, let’s take a look at how this strategy got me to my final four. Later, we’ll see how it all worked out for me in this year’s tournament.
MIDWEST REGION ROUND ONE
Louisville Cardinals vs. Morehead State Eagles: Normally, an eagle would tear a cardinal to shreds in thirty seconds, but in the NCAA tournament when an eagle is the 16th seed and the cardinal is the 1 seed, it means the exact opposite. Winner: Cardinals
Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Sienna Saints: This one was easy. You’ve got a guy with a giant poison nut for a head verses a guy who earned his whole title by being a pacifist. I took the nut over the guy who won’t fight. Winner: Buckeyes
Utah Utes vs. Arizona Wildcats: A lot of people don’t know what a Ute is unless they’ve watched My Cousin Vinny or more accurately, the History Channel. A Ute is a Native American Tribe that once thrived in Utah and Colorado. Now, put these two in a bar fight and there’s no way you take the wildcat. Native American mythology uses the wildcat a lot, and they own them every time. Winner: Utes
Wake Forest Demon Deacons vs. Cleveland State Vikings: Now, a Viking is a pretty formable opponent, especially in a bar fight. Vikings were known for imbibing the mead a little too much, and when you add to that their propensity for raping and pillaging, that’s a pretty good combo. However, the Wake Forest mascot is both a deacon, and an infernal spawn of Hell. No matter how many horns you have on you’re helmet, there’s just no way of stopping that. A demon’s horns are natural. This would’ve been harder to gauge if Wake Forest were playing Sienna. Winner: Demon Deacons
West Virginia Mountaineers vs. Dayton Flyers: What do most flyers try to avoid? If you said mountains then you are correct. A flyer and a mountaineer are both well equipped for high altitudes, but in a bar fight you give it to the guy who knows how to live up there all the time. Winner: Mountaineers.
Kansas Jayhawks vs. North Dakota State Bison: Again, no contest. Bison were so easy to kill that we had to stop because we killed them much faster than they made more bison. A Jayhawk is not a real bird, but rather it’s a mythical cross between two common birds, the noisy blue jay and the quiet sparrow hawk. That type of duality makes for one pretty good mythical bird barroom brawler especially against an animal most well know for almost going extinct. Winner: Jayhawks
Michigan State Spartans vs. Robert Morris Colonials: On one hand you’ve got the Spartans, who were known for being the absolute toughest badasses ever and are very handy with bladed weapons. On the other you’ve got a Colonial - not a Minuteman or a Revolutionary, a Colonial. Technically, a Colonial is nothing more than some guy who lives in a colony. You need more than your zip code when going up against a Spartan with a broken PBR bottle in his hand. Winner: Spartans.
WEST REGION ROUND ONE
Connecticut Huskies vs. University of Tennessee at Chattanooga Mocs: The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga’s mascot are the Mocs, which at first I thought was short for moccasin, and it was until 1996, but now it turns out they changed it to some sort of mockingbird driving a train. That’s just dumb. I took the rabid dog over the bird in a train. Winner: Huskies
Brigham Young University Cougars vs. Texas A&M Aggies: In order to determine this one I first had to figure out what the heck is an Aggie. It turns out it’s the nickname for someone who goes to an agricultural school. That’s not very tough, especially when you’re in a bar fight with a cougar. Luckily the cougar is more interested in trying to sleep with you than fight. Winner: Aggies (Oh, wait, that’s not the type of cougar they’re named after…oh well).
Purdue Boilermakers vs. Northern Iowa Panthers: While it’s true that a boilermaker is a glass of beer with a shot of whiskey, it’s also the nickname of workers who mold and heat metal into large plates. I like the drink theme better, especially in a bar fight. What’s a panther going to do up against a glass of beer and a shot of whiskey – exactly what I would do – drink it and then pass out happy. Winner: Boilermakers
Washington Huskies vs. Mississippi State Bulldogs: Finally, mascots I don’t have to research! They’re both just regular old dogs. I took the Huskies even though it meant a potential husky vs. husky matchup later on in the region. Bulldogs may be tenacious, but huskies have the endurance you need to win a bar fight. It can be a long drawn out affair sometimes, especially if the bartender doesn’t call the cops right away. Winner: Huskies
Marquette Golden Eagles vs. Utah State Aggies: Sorry Aggies, I gave you one fight against a cougar but until a Golden Eagle becomes a nickname for some older hot chick, it’s just a bird with big talons. Winner: Golden Eagles
Missouri Tigers vs. Cornell: Technically Cornell doesn’t have a mascot. They have an unofficial mascot – the Big Red Bear. That’s a pretty weird commitment-phobia you have there Cornell! Guess what, in the fantasy bar fight in my mind, your “unofficial” Big Red Bear just ain’t going to cut it against Missouri’s “official” Tiger. Winner: Tigers
California Golden Bears vs. Maryland Terrapins: California has done what Cornell can’t seem to do; it has picked a bear mascot and made it official. It liked it so much it put a ring on it. Now it gets to throw down against a terrapin, which is a turtle - a really, really small turtle. So small, that without an opposable thumb, the Bears massive paws and claws are useless. This bar fight will take forever but the turtle ends up victorious. Winner: Terrapins
Memphis Tigers vs. CSU Northridge Matadors: This region stinks. It presents not only a possible Husky vs. Husky matchup, but also a Tigers vs. Tigers scenario. Still, this is a pretty cool bar fight! I mean a matador verse a tiger! That’s insane! Matadors are used to fighting animals, and tigers are used to getting into bar fights, so I was really looking forward to this battle until I realized that tigers don’t really ever get into bar fights and matadors kill bulls that have already been tortured for hours beforehand. With a tiger, old Matty Matador has to fight someone fresh and not tortured. Winner: Tigers
Jack DeVoss
ScoreOnAir.com
Ohio Center for Broadcasting
MIDWEST REGION ROUND ONE
Louisville Cardinals vs. Morehead State Eagles: Normally, an eagle would tear a cardinal to shreds in thirty seconds, but in the NCAA tournament when an eagle is the 16th seed and the cardinal is the 1 seed, it means the exact opposite. Winner: Cardinals
Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Sienna Saints: This one was easy. You’ve got a guy with a giant poison nut for a head verses a guy who earned his whole title by being a pacifist. I took the nut over the guy who won’t fight. Winner: Buckeyes
Utah Utes vs. Arizona Wildcats: A lot of people don’t know what a Ute is unless they’ve watched My Cousin Vinny or more accurately, the History Channel. A Ute is a Native American Tribe that once thrived in Utah and Colorado. Now, put these two in a bar fight and there’s no way you take the wildcat. Native American mythology uses the wildcat a lot, and they own them every time. Winner: Utes
Wake Forest Demon Deacons vs. Cleveland State Vikings: Now, a Viking is a pretty formable opponent, especially in a bar fight. Vikings were known for imbibing the mead a little too much, and when you add to that their propensity for raping and pillaging, that’s a pretty good combo. However, the Wake Forest mascot is both a deacon, and an infernal spawn of Hell. No matter how many horns you have on you’re helmet, there’s just no way of stopping that. A demon’s horns are natural. This would’ve been harder to gauge if Wake Forest were playing Sienna. Winner: Demon Deacons
West Virginia Mountaineers vs. Dayton Flyers: What do most flyers try to avoid? If you said mountains then you are correct. A flyer and a mountaineer are both well equipped for high altitudes, but in a bar fight you give it to the guy who knows how to live up there all the time. Winner: Mountaineers.
Kansas Jayhawks vs. North Dakota State Bison: Again, no contest. Bison were so easy to kill that we had to stop because we killed them much faster than they made more bison. A Jayhawk is not a real bird, but rather it’s a mythical cross between two common birds, the noisy blue jay and the quiet sparrow hawk. That type of duality makes for one pretty good mythical bird barroom brawler especially against an animal most well know for almost going extinct. Winner: Jayhawks
Michigan State Spartans vs. Robert Morris Colonials: On one hand you’ve got the Spartans, who were known for being the absolute toughest badasses ever and are very handy with bladed weapons. On the other you’ve got a Colonial - not a Minuteman or a Revolutionary, a Colonial. Technically, a Colonial is nothing more than some guy who lives in a colony. You need more than your zip code when going up against a Spartan with a broken PBR bottle in his hand. Winner: Spartans.
WEST REGION ROUND ONE
Connecticut Huskies vs. University of Tennessee at Chattanooga Mocs: The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga’s mascot are the Mocs, which at first I thought was short for moccasin, and it was until 1996, but now it turns out they changed it to some sort of mockingbird driving a train. That’s just dumb. I took the rabid dog over the bird in a train. Winner: Huskies
Brigham Young University Cougars vs. Texas A&M Aggies: In order to determine this one I first had to figure out what the heck is an Aggie. It turns out it’s the nickname for someone who goes to an agricultural school. That’s not very tough, especially when you’re in a bar fight with a cougar. Luckily the cougar is more interested in trying to sleep with you than fight. Winner: Aggies (Oh, wait, that’s not the type of cougar they’re named after…oh well).
Purdue Boilermakers vs. Northern Iowa Panthers: While it’s true that a boilermaker is a glass of beer with a shot of whiskey, it’s also the nickname of workers who mold and heat metal into large plates. I like the drink theme better, especially in a bar fight. What’s a panther going to do up against a glass of beer and a shot of whiskey – exactly what I would do – drink it and then pass out happy. Winner: Boilermakers
Washington Huskies vs. Mississippi State Bulldogs: Finally, mascots I don’t have to research! They’re both just regular old dogs. I took the Huskies even though it meant a potential husky vs. husky matchup later on in the region. Bulldogs may be tenacious, but huskies have the endurance you need to win a bar fight. It can be a long drawn out affair sometimes, especially if the bartender doesn’t call the cops right away. Winner: Huskies
Marquette Golden Eagles vs. Utah State Aggies: Sorry Aggies, I gave you one fight against a cougar but until a Golden Eagle becomes a nickname for some older hot chick, it’s just a bird with big talons. Winner: Golden Eagles
Missouri Tigers vs. Cornell: Technically Cornell doesn’t have a mascot. They have an unofficial mascot – the Big Red Bear. That’s a pretty weird commitment-phobia you have there Cornell! Guess what, in the fantasy bar fight in my mind, your “unofficial” Big Red Bear just ain’t going to cut it against Missouri’s “official” Tiger. Winner: Tigers
California Golden Bears vs. Maryland Terrapins: California has done what Cornell can’t seem to do; it has picked a bear mascot and made it official. It liked it so much it put a ring on it. Now it gets to throw down against a terrapin, which is a turtle - a really, really small turtle. So small, that without an opposable thumb, the Bears massive paws and claws are useless. This bar fight will take forever but the turtle ends up victorious. Winner: Terrapins
Memphis Tigers vs. CSU Northridge Matadors: This region stinks. It presents not only a possible Husky vs. Husky matchup, but also a Tigers vs. Tigers scenario. Still, this is a pretty cool bar fight! I mean a matador verse a tiger! That’s insane! Matadors are used to fighting animals, and tigers are used to getting into bar fights, so I was really looking forward to this battle until I realized that tigers don’t really ever get into bar fights and matadors kill bulls that have already been tortured for hours beforehand. With a tiger, old Matty Matador has to fight someone fresh and not tortured. Winner: Tigers
Jack DeVoss
ScoreOnAir.com
Ohio Center for Broadcasting
Thursday, March 19, 2009
DO THINK THAT A.I IS OVERRATED
I don't know if you are like air jordan on b ball in season but since the very first show air jordan has said time after time that A.I is the most overrated player to ever play the game period could that be true what do you think call in our show at five pm everyday
march madness has come to bball in season
bball in season has got the madness for ncaa basketball we will give up to date info about all your fav teams check us out at 5pm and 8 am in the moring everyday
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)